Christmas catkins

Cats hate a camera. Especially when they know it will eradicate their features

Brownie says, do not wear loud clothing

Spent a very nice Christmas morning with the cats. Only got cuffed once and that was by a nervous cat called Brownie. She is a real sweetie but couldn't help getting scared at the sound my waterproofs make. Wearing head-to-toe waterproofs is very noisy, but it remains essential due to the fact that I spend most of my time on my hands and knees cleaning up cat turds!

I also fell in love with a little cutie who snuggled up on my lap for ages. She's tiny but with big eyes and a big nose. If Miss Marple didn't hate cats, I'd have brought the little urchin home with me.

Secret Santa

Sexy Cliff

Cat fur paw

Sore knobbed potato

Super-cool bollock

The severed head

The annual Secret Santa at Roxburgh Road threw up yet another impressive batch of finely crafted gifts.

A Jay and the cheese

I've been very slack at doing this blog. I will try and put some good pictures of my antics up soon. But for now I will just say that the cheddar cheese I put in the garden was a huge hit. This time Miss Marple didn't sneakily eat it and then be immediately sick on the stairs. No, this time a lovely big jay swooped down and tucked in. What a treat!

Good idea

Big boob blunder

Classic news story!

Good rats

Rats can clear land mines! They can clear a 200sq m minefield in two hours. It takes a human one day to do that. This makes me feel slightly less angry about Missy bringing in a rat and leaving it loose in the house. I hope it's doing something good under the floorboards and not just chewing through wires, that'll eventually spark and burn down my house.

I do love rats though.

More poodles

I've just won these beauts on Ebay. I'm so excited about this!! That's five, yes, five poodle pictures now in my possession. It'll be a total showstopper once they're up on the wall. And I now have my eye on two 3d pictures - one of an Alsation and one of a Collie. As you'd expect from a cheap 3d picture of a dog from the 70's, they are truly hideous. But they're right up my street!

Now I'm living like a teenager

Eek!

"I can't bare to look."

There is no excuse for this mess. It looks like we've been burgled!

Old persons' picnic

Passers-by seemed quite jealous of this picnic. And two dogs tried to steal it!

Gone are the days when Sunday would be spent recovering from Saturday night clubbing. Today I packed a picnic, donned my cagoule, grabbed my binoculars and went for a ramble on Farthing Downs. As we sat sipping tea from our flasks I actually heard myself say "Ahh, this is the life," without any sarcasm. It was a lovely day. But in true pensioner style, my newly aquired bad knee gave me trouble and I got a blister on my ankle from my wellingtons rubbing.

A pile of leaves

The beginnings of a huge pile of leaves

A dying Chinese Lantern plant reminiscing about Halloween

A lovely sunny day meant I could finally do some of my gardening tasks. Mainly leaf clearing. I couldn't be bothered to make a leaf compost contraption so I have just shoved all the leaves in a sheltered corner of the garden, which should do the trick. It'll also make a nice winter hibernation home for any passing frogs.

Mighty magpie

A nice picture of a robin

Totally getting back into my bird watching. Today I watched many bullies at the lard ball. Sparrows rule against tits. Starlings pick on the sparrows. But Magpie wins over all. And later a very sweet robin snatched a nut on the sly.

Metcheck, I'm sorry

Hey, maybe I spoke too soon. There's actually now brilliant sunshine on it's way. The rain has stopped and there's a rainbow. I'm off out.

Metcheck, why do you lie to me?

It's supposed to be brilliant sunshine. I can't find any enthusiasm to spend the day outdoors. Hmm, what to do?

Foot freedom

I've awarded myself this medal from Ebay. Good, isn't it.

Walter Potter and a sad story of a sofa

Kitten wedding

I'm so excited that the taxidermy creations of Walter Potter are going to be exhibited at the Museum Of Everything. I've been a fan for ages but have never seen any of the work in person. I plan to go and check it out on Saturday. I can't wait to see those beady-eyed and badly stuffed creatures.

Today I also saw a lovely 50's sofa on Ebay, with the sad description that it had never had it's plastic wrapping taken off since being bought new, in the 50's. I love that the old man who owned it, cared for it so much that he never really let himself enjoy it to the full. He preserved the precious thing. He put the sofa first.

Happier days

Behind the controls

Now that's everything you could want from an in-car system. Clock set to a random time, a good air-blowing system, a mystery knob (not even the brochure knows what that does) and Sam driving, so I can sit back and enjoy the dashboard.

N710 LGC I love you. I miss you.

Dry your eyes

Shit-bombed on it's own doorstep

Souped up

When I went to the post sorting office on Saturday I peered into the demolition scrap yard next door to see if my old car was there. There was no sign. It made me feel sad. I loved that green-mobile, with it's clunky gears, non-power steering, inability to go up a hill faster than a person in a mobility buggy and of course it's sub-standard tape deck. I didn't mind that the exhaust had rusted off and there was a sound of scraping metal every time I drove over a bump. Or that a lipbalm had melted to the drivers pocket creating a waxy trap I accidentally put my fingers in every time I reached for the door. Damn, I loved that beast. I think (and this shocks me) I loved it more than L204 PMX, my first Fiesta. I don't think I ever really forgave that one for only having two doors. And I'm not in love with the new car. Not in the slightest. But these things take time.

N710 LGC (Lara's Green Car) RIP.

Grapes!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah!

You better believe it!

I spent the weekend dressed head-to-toe in waterproofs, tidying up the garden in monsoon weather. It was very satisfying work, although to the neighbours I must have looked a bit deranged. But anyway, I battled against the elements and came out a champion. Why? Because I found, hiding away, a crop of grapes on the vine! Delicious! Check out these bad boys...

New tin alert! Oh lamby!

Yes, another brilliant new tin has been purchased. It is definitely in my top three. Soon I am going to see if I will be allowed to display all my tins somewhere in the house. It's a crime not to.

Alan Sugar

Look at Alan Sugar as a younger man. What a classic!

It's not all cats, cats, cats

Actually it mainly is. But here are some other things we saw on holiday. I don't want to be home!!

Carrots and coffee. That classic combo.

A lovely display of t-shirts and seals for sale

Nice view

A beautiful village I can't remember the name of

Inside a weird folk museum

Lovely waters. Unless you are Sam.
(He's previously been attacked by an angry squid and prodded by a sad lobster. This year Sam was nipped by a tiny fish. It made his toe bleed)

Skopolos = cat land

Raisin

Grapes

Socks

Funny face

Ambush!

Clean feet

Holidayed on the Greek island of Skopolos - an island where you can't walk two meters without seeing another gorgeous cat. I was like a Pied Piper to the cats (mainly due to having a bag of cat biscuits on me at all times) and I made many a good friend, including two 'they could be models!' kittens who lived at our apartment. They didn't stop hissing at me - ferels! - but on the last day one sat on my foot and after I left our door open at night one slept on our chair and another behind the microwave. I'd made a breakthrough. But I miss them so much. It breaks my heart.

Time for a holiday

Just before I went on holiday I was coming back late from work when I saw someone reading this on the tube. I was like 'Ha! See you later commuter slaves. I'm off on holiday!' But now I'm back at work and feeling bummed out. But the holiday was brilliant. Pics to follow.

This is what it has come to

It makes me want to cry.

Fever hooRay

One banana

Two banana, three banana, four

Four bananas make a bunch, and so do many more

Saw Fever Ray at Brixton yesterday. Amazing. Through the smoke you could just make out Fever Ray wearing a crazy headpiece that sometimes made her look like a giant dragon lizard and sometimes like one of the Banana Splits. The band dressed like old men with hunchbacks, and danced like they were digging their own graves. Kind of scary but brilliant all the same.